It creeps up like a fog rolling in over the hills.
I rarely expect it, but should.
Just when I think I’ve got it under control and I’m doing good, it rears it’s ugly head.
Lately I’ve let the fog roll in and overwhelm me. Fill my head with crazy thoughts that do nothing but drag me down.
In the past few weeks, I’ve really been trying to push my style boundaries. Try things that scare me. Re-create looks that I love on others. Put things together that seem totally random.
When I’m strong enough to push the self doubt out, these all sound like such great ideas.
When the fog rolls in, so comes the over anaylizing. An outfit that I loved as I walked out of the house, I hate in the pictures. A new piece that I was so excited to get, goes back to the store for fear of looking ridiculous. I look at my favorite fashion blogs for fabulous ideas, then beat myself up cause I don’t look like them.
I let it consume me and take all the fun out of this. It’s just clothes for heaven’s sake! This isn’t world peace…but it sure can feel like it.
This quote is so true, it’s just hard to remember it sometimes. For me, it’s easy to look around and see many of the things I do have.A healthy family. A husband who works unbelievably hard so I can stay home with LJ. An apartment in a safe, beautiful neighborhood. Food on my table. Clothes on my back. A car to drive.
Those are the things that are easy for me to see, be grateful for, and be happy about. It’s the seemingly inconsequential, almost shallow things that I struggle with. In a world so focused on outer beauty and the quest for perfection, I easily loose sight in the fog.
A scary truth is that I’m so grateful that I was blessed with a son first….I’m not ready for a daughter.
How can I teach self love and acceptance to such an impressionable little mind when I still waiver?
While I’m so much better than I used to be, and need to be thankful for that, there is still work to be done. None of us is perfect, we all have things that we doubt about ourselves. I just need to learn to accept those doubts and move forward.