Self Doubt

It creeps up like a fog rolling in over the hills.

I rarely expect it, but should.

Just when I think I’ve got it under control and I’m doing good, it rears it’s ugly head.

SELF DOUBT

Lately I’ve let the fog roll in and overwhelm me. Fill my head with crazy thoughts that do nothing but drag me down.

 
 
 
 
Am I good enough?
Am I doing enough?
Am I creative enough?
Am I pretty enough?
 

Source: imgspark.com via Amber on Pinterest

 

In the past few weeks, I’ve really been trying to push my style boundaries. Try things that scare me. Re-create looks that I love on others. Put things together that seem totally random.

When I’m strong enough to push the self doubt out, these all sound like such great ideas.

When the fog rolls in, so comes the over anaylizing. An outfit that I loved as I walked out of the house, I hate in the pictures. A new piece that I was so excited to get, goes back to the store for fear of looking ridiculous. I look at my favorite fashion blogs for fabulous ideas, then beat myself up cause I don’t look like them.

I let it consume me and take all the fun out of this. It’s just clothes for heaven’s sake! This isn’t world peace…but it sure can feel like it.

Source: piccsy.com via Gabriela on Pinterest

 

 This quote is so true, it’s just hard to remember it sometimes. For me, it’s easy to look around and see many of the things I do have.

A healthy family.
A husband who works unbelievably hard so I can stay home with LJ.
An apartment in a safe, beautiful neighborhood.
Food on my table.
Clothes on my back.
A car to drive.
 

Those are the things that are easy for me to see, be grateful for, and be happy about. It’s the seemingly inconsequential, almost shallow things that I struggle with. In a world so focused on outer beauty and the quest for perfection, I easily loose sight in the fog.

A scary truth is that I’m so grateful that I was blessed with a son first….I’m not ready for a daughter.

How can I teach self love and acceptance  to such an impressionable little mind when I still waiver?

While I’m so much better than I used to be, and need to be thankful for that, there is still work to be done. None of us is perfect, we all have things that we doubt about ourselves. I just need to learn to accept those doubts and move forward.

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Sole Motivation

I hate to admit it, but when it comes to working out I’m about as lazy as it gets.

I used to be a dancer. Hours upon hours of practice, chorographing, perfecting. I loved it…

But as my dance days came to a close, so did my workout habits. I’ve tried Curves, the gym, classes, Wii Fit, and EA Sports Active. Please, stab me in the eyeballs NOW! I’m an activity kinda girl, not a workout girl.

So when my brother told me that he came upon an extra pair of free Under Armor yet to be released shoes that just happen to be my size, my enthusiasm wasn’t exactly bubbling over….until I tried them on.

I’ve never spent the time, energy, or money into getting good workout clothes or shoes. Old t-shirts, Hubs’ painting shorts, and some sneakers I bought too soon after LJ was born that have never fit right and hurt my feet. Yeah, cause that’s going to motivate my booty into doing something.

Now, with my new light as a cloud, soft as fuzzy slippers, comfy as could be shoes, I have come to understand WHY people spend more than I do on workout wear. I’m actually excited to wear my shoes. Hold your breath… I WANT to go on a walk.

Probably as you are reading this, I’m out on a walk. My first walk in waaaaayyy too long. And I’m actually excited about it.

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Pay It Forward {Shine Project}

You may or may not have heard of the incredible Ashley of The Shine Project by now.

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I’ve been quietly stalking Ashley for months now. Yes, I admit it, I’m a lurker too. Ashley is on a mission to change the world, and as a former teacher myself,  her latest project is so near and dear to my heart that I HAD to come out of the shadows and help Ashley SHINE.

Here to explain Change 4 Change, is none other than Ms. Ashley herself. Take it away babe!

 

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Have you ever had a nagging feeling that you needed to DO something?
But it seemed so hard, that you just didn’t think you could…
I’m Ashley and I created The Shine Project to change the world.
Ya, I said it! I want to change the world. Given the challenge, I know I can’t do it alone, but I know that it needs to be done. One person at a time.
I created The Shine Project to motivate people to go after their dreams, while serving others around them.
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I make these necklaces so we can have a daily reminder to SHINE. $1 from each necklace goes into the SHINE Scholarship Fund which will be given to an inner city school student in January 2012.
This brings us to my next project. The project that requires a lot more help than I can give. In October of this year, I am throwing a HUGE fundraising event. It’s a silent auction sponsored by San Tan Ford, and all proceeds will be going to the scholarship fund. If you have any items that you would be willing to donate, you can email me at ashley.theshineproject@gmail.com.
To lead up to the event, today I am revealing THESE:
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CHANGE for CHANGE jars! Throw your leftover change for the next three months in a CHANGE jar, and send the money to the fund in October. My goal is to get 100 people to pledge to raise $100 by October… That’s $10,000! Imagine how many lives will be affected by that. This money will help students afford college that otherwise would not have been able to afford it. If you would like to start your own CHANGE jar, or pledge, please email me… You can find more details on my blog as well. http://www.ashlemieux.blogspot.com/
And go ahead, let the world see you SHINE.
 
HOW AMAZING IS SHE??? I have worked in schools where many students are lucky just to make it out of high school, let alone go on to college. I truly feel that we are so blessed to live in this country, to have the opportunity to not only make ourselves better, but to better the lives of those around us.
I’ve signed up to join Change 4 Change, now YOU should too! It’s never too late to join, and Ashley needs 35 more people to join to reach her goal. So take a moment, empty your junk drawer, couch cushions, stack on top of your dryer, and SHINE.

P.S. Head over to Miss Mommy for a chance to win your own SHINE NECKLACE!

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Fun For All

 As I’ve been walking along this journey of self discovery and acceptance, a mission has become clear. Make the next generation better.

I don’t mean more fashionable. I don’t mean prettier.

I mean more loving.

More loving to themselves. More loving to others.

More aware of how they feel. More aware of how others feel.

I have this amazing opportunity to help shape the next generation with LJ. I can teach him about many of the things I struggle with, and hope that he ends up more accepting than I am. I can teach him about many of the things others struggle with, and hope that he will be more loving than I am.

And it all started with a trip to the park.

 

Well….not just ANY park.

We went to this wonderful park designed for kids of ALL ability levels. There was tons of equiptment for LJ to play with.

 And there was lots of equiptment for children with different needs to play with.

 

It was all there, together, in one park. Everyone can come, everyone can play, everyone CAN do something.

I thought it was so important to teach LJ that while we are all different, we are all the same. Just because we can do different things than someone else doesn’t make us any better, just different. Like Mrs. Sparklenose (Abby’s Flying Fairy School Teacher) says, “sometimes it’s the things that make us different, that make the difference.”

Besides, what kid doesn’t love the park?

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REAL Women Are BANNED???

Meet Ruby.
She’s BANNED.
This brilliant campaign by The Body Shop was developed as part of a three part series to help promote self esteem and empower women.
“Ruby is an element of a three-part campaign with self-esteem motifs from Body Shop International. After the focus in September on body image, Ms. Galanti said, October will be devoted to ”self-esteem and activism,” in the form of a promotion to sell whistles that symbolize what a coming print ad calls ”the urgent need to stop violence against women.” And in November, Ms. Galanti said, the focus will be ”self-esteem and aging — wrinkles.”
When Mattel got word of this campagin the sent a cease and desist letter to The Body Shop, putting the brakes on this groundbreaking advertisement.
Ruby was banned in 1998!
I don’t know what’s more disturbing: Ruby being banned or that a big deal is being made of it only NOW!
Has it really taken 13 years for us women to get infuriated about this enough to make it go viral? Have we endured 13 years of “you should look like this” ads needlessly?
While I doubt the viral rage that is forming now will do much of anything to bring Ruby back, it does bring to the forefront of our minds how we are still being targeted to buy X product to feel better about ourselves.
I say ROCK ON Body Shop.
ROCK ON Dove and your “real beauty” campaign.
Standing up for me makes me want to support you. Genius.

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Why Is It?

Why is it that when I have a child-free morning to go shoe shopping, I can’t find the ones I’m searching for?
Anyone seen yellow flats out there?

Why is it when I need the kiddo to take a long nap, he doesn’t nap at all?

Why is it that everytime I make a “real” meal, all the kiddo wants is mac and cheese…yet when I make mac and cheese all he wants is a “real” meal?

Why is it that LJ can watch the same episode of Sesame Street forty nine million times without getting sick of it, and though I have it memorized from top to bottom now, I’ll still sit there and snuggle with him while watching Elmo.

Why is it that kids learn to give the puppy dog face so young, and I fall for it everytime?

Why is it that even when I’ve had it up to HERE with him, that little smile and hug still get me.

Why?

Because I’m a mom. And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

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Am I Just Lazy?

I’m exhausted. Wiped out. Down for the count. Done.

Most days, my house looks like some version of this.

And my laundry room closet would need to magically transform in order to deal with my mountain o’ dirtiness.
And don’t even get me started on my teeny tiny balcony that I can never keep up with the nastiness on cause this little lovely comes everyday to collect right off of it.
Seriously…it’s so nasty when I think about it! EEWWWW.
But yesterday it was like someone was holding a candle under my butt and yelling “MUSH”! I got more done in one day than I usually do in three.
Laundry….check
Vaccuming….check
Dishes….check
Scrub the BBQ….check
Costco….check
Not to mention for 4 hours in the morning I had LJ & Baby W.

It all makes me wonder….am I just LAZY normally? I mean, come on, I kicked the trash out of my usual level of productivity. Scrubbing the bbq, really, who does that? Not me usually…as evidenced by the level of nastiness on it.
And then I realized what was different….I didn’t have a kiddo to entertain. Yes, there were two kiddos here, but I didn’t have to do the entertaining…they did.
While they proceeded to re-make my living room into this…
I was able to tackle…
without the laundry fairy paying me a visit and magically poofing my laundry closet into a full blown laundromat. Though that would be nice!
I realized that I need to give myself more credit for what I do get done normally… and appreciate how much easier it is to be productive with out a munckin hanging on me ;)

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The Hardest Decisions…

Life never goes the way you plan it, so I should just embrace that. One thing seems like a great idea, but then again so does something else. Basically, I’m learning that nothing is cut and dry. Choices aren’t easy. And in many ways, being an adult just sucks.

Can I go back to play groups and nap time?

Anyways, a few weeks ago I filled ya’ll in on my struggle…. leave “my streets” and head to Awesometown with a beautiful home, or stay here rock apartment living a bit longer.

After hours and hours of discussion and thought, I decided to roll like Bon Jovi and live on a prayer. I say I cause I have to be real honest, it was not a “we” decision. Hubs let me pick this one…and I know it wasn’t easy.

My sweet hubs has truly given up a lot to let me live on the prayer that we will be able to afford a home someday in “our streets”. His commute stinks. His paycheck doesn’t go as far as it . He works harder than anyone I know.

Is it two/three times the price here…sure. Are the places older and will probably require some work…most likely. Are we getting royally hosed by our apartment management… definately

Like really….when was the last time our pool looked like this? YOU LIE!

But in the end, this is home. It always has been and I hope it always will be. We should be so blessed to be able to stay here. To have our families close. To have my “sister” and LJ’s “might as well be brother” live just down the road. To live where I don’t have to worry for a second about going to the park, sending LJ to school one day, or walking down the street at night alone.

We are lucky to be so blessed!
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When Momma’s Down and Out

When Momma’s down and out with a cold/allergies….

Mr. Potato Head becomes the mayor of the living room.

Sheriff Woody should arrest me for having breakfast still on the table at 6pm.

The dishes fairy decided to take the day off.
Can I call in my 2nd string momma now?

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YOU Asked, I Tell

One of the things I love the most about blogging is YOU! I am so lucky to have so many wonderful readers who faithfully comment, email, and chat it up with me on FB. I have “met” so many wonderful new friends through this blog!

I will admit, the highlight of day often comes from a sweet comment or email from you. Sometimes I check my email a little too much during the day seeing what fun new conversations I can have with you!

Today I figured I would answer some of the questions that you all comment or email me with the most!

1. How tall/what size are you? You look a lot like me!

Dude, I WISH I looked a lot like most of you! I always claim I’m 5’3″, but that got shot down this summer when my “wow, she’s short” sister-in-law turned out to be 5’2 1/2″….1/2 an inch taller than me. JERK!
So here’s the stats: 5’2″, shoe size 8, pants size 14/16 (or who the heck knows sometimes), tops l/xl (I HATE getting pull lines across my chest, so sometimes I go big and take it in).
2. How can you afford to go shopping all the time? I WISH I had your shopping budget.
Oh, if only I had an unlimited shopping budget! The truth is we are a single income family living in the outrageously expensive suburbs of LA. There is very little shopping budget for all three of us, let alone just me.
I just shop smart! We have an Old Navy credit card that earns us rewards. I swear without that store, hubby and I would be ….well…you know.
I also go “shopping” often. I say “shopping” because most of the time most of the time I leave with nothing. If you are in the stores you love often, you get to know what they have, how much you can realistically get things for, and when sales happen. The majority of my clothes have been purchased on sale/clearance/ or 50% off all clearance sales.
Besides that….rework, remix, re purpose, just shop your closet!
3. You have a blog, 2 Etsy shops, and a 2 year old, how do you have time for it all?
I don’t, simple as that. Sleep suffers, I’m weeks behind on my favorite TV shows, and the house is usually in some state of chaos. But I’ve learned to work quickly and efficiently.
It’s all about balance. Some nights I’m up until after midnight responding to emails, writing posts, and filling orders. Other nights, I shut the computer down and just hang out with my boys.

4. I love Real Momma, Real Style. Are you turning Momma Go Round into a style blog?

Yes, and no. Momma Go Round will always be about what is going on with me and my life as a momma. Right now I’m working on my style and really using what I have.


But I’m also a momma, on a weight loss journey, who loves to craft, to learn photography, get lost in reality shows, spend endless hours at the park, and everything in between.

5. What advice do you have for new bloggers?

I have to say, this might be my favorite question. I still consider myself a new blogger. I’m still learning, I’m still growing…I no Tatertots and Jello!

The biggest thing I’ve learned is to stay true to yourself and why you are blogging. If you look back at some of my older posts, there’s not a trace of me or my personality in them. I knew I wanted to blog, but I didn’t really know about what or how. All of my successful posts, ideas, series, and such have come when I am truest to myself.

I hope this helps answer some of your burning questions. Sorry if I didn’t get to the one that you were dying to know! I would love to hear from you! So email me, send me a note on Facebook, or leave a comment. I LOVE hearing from you more than you know!

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