It time to let you all in on something that I’ve really been struggling with lately.

It’s not bad. It’s just tough. And I have NO idea what the right choice is.

We live in the suburbs of LA. The SAME general area as both of our parents (who live a street apart). We grew up here. In the perfect words of one Jon Bon Jovi “These are my streets, the only life I’ve ever known.”

The only problem is the streets here might as well be made of gold for how dang expensive they are. I mean really, I’m paying WAY more than most people’s mortgage for a 2bd/1.5ba apartment.

ALMOST.

I know this will sound pathetic to lots of you, but it’s 45 minutes from “my streets”.  From my parents, BSB’s parents, my BFFs, and a countless number of friends’ moms who are dying to babysit. And it’s not just 45 minutes, it’s 45 minutes completely out of the way from everything. It’s like LA, “my streets” and awesometown are at opposit points of a triangle.

BSB works crazy hours. It’s a good day if he makes it home by 7:30. It is FAR from unusual for him to not see LJ at all in a day, let alone all week. There are periods of time where he’s at work until 1am. I am so lucky to have a man who is willing to work so hard to provide for his family, and we are so grateful for his job at such a great company…but it does leave me alone with LJ alot.

I lean on my family and friends for support, companionship, and help, often. They step in when BSB can’t. No awesometown can replace that.

All the logical reasons in the world tell me that awesometown is just that, awesome. But my heart is telling me to stay. I know I could be sacrificing buying a home right now. And when we do, it will most likely be smaller and much older. But it’s home…

“With every step I take I know that I’m not alone. You take the home from the boy, but not the boy from his home.These are my streets, the only life I’ve ever known, who says you can’t go home” – Bon Jovi